the 80 year old hajja

This morning when I was crossing through Qalandiya, we went through the normal process of figuring out who has foreign passports and Jerusalem ids and those with Palestinian ids . The driver discovered that this old old lady didn't have permission to cross through, but was on the bus anyways hoping they would let her cross because she was so old. Everyone got distressed because it meant we'd get delayed and likely have to watch her get kicked off the bus and returned to Ramallah by foot, etc. It would be physically and emotionally tiring for her, and emotionally tiring for the rest of us who would have to witness such inhumanity.

We braced ourselves and waited to see what would happen, praying to God. These two really kind looking soldiers got on the bus and the woman asked the hajja "hold old are you?". She replied, 80, but it's likely that she has no idea. Regardless, she's super old. The soldier let her pass, and we all breathed a sigh of relief, people saying "Allah karim" , and talking in excited voices. I felt this deep sense of sadness. Occupation is so part of our daily lives, that people have come to accept what is permissible and what is not. This old lady wouldn't let it stop her, though. She wanted to get to Jerusalem, so she tried and made it through.

I let the soldiers see the tears well up in my eyes. They were tears of sadness, but they were also strategic. They seemed kind and empathic people. Maybe they'll take what happened and continue to be kind. I understand they don't have power in a larger sense, but it's the everyday experiences that determine the quality of life. They couldn't look at me, averted their eyes.